How do you do it?

February 20, 2002 at 14:00 · Filed under Uncategorised

How do you do it? Make me feel like I do..

had a crappy few days..worked all day monday..
was in town all day yesterday, getting rather pissed off because of fucking mini-moshers of course, Slipknot were doing a signing at Virgin yesterday, so everywhere was absolutely crawling with little fuckers in Slipknot hoodies. I HATE SLIPKNOT so much..

Anyways..was in town all day yesterday with Soraya..did shite all really, just fucked around till 7, went to Starbucks, Shopping, The Kings Cross, and then went to the station where we met her friend Sadie and then went to The Edge..spent from bout 8 till 11 there, had a few drinks and a mess around..very friendly atmosphere there, its a gay bar so I guessed it would be like that (as is the Kings Cross).
Anyways…sitting on my ass all day today unless i can be bothered goin out somewhere which, from where i’m sat now, looks very unlikely.

Got a few questions to ask about my dream last nite, why on earth, would there be a framed picture of Marilyn Manson and an animation studio at Bristol Airport? And, why was my teacher Bob Hoskins, who hated me? weird…

i wish i was special

February 17, 2002 at 15:00 · Filed under Uncategorised

i wish i was special .. you’re so fucking special..

Man, I just got a call and have been asked to come in to work tonight, I said yea..because i need the £$£ lol. Feeling very tired now..ech. Woke up about 2:30. Feelin rough as hell..

Do you worry that you’re

February 17, 2002 at 07:00 · Filed under Uncategorised

Do you worry that you’re not liked - How long till you break

Fuck man, the truth really does hurt. Never be under an impression..always make sure that something is entirely true before you learn to rely or depend on it.

I s’pose I’ll go into detail seeing as neither of the parties involved bother to read this site because they only take from me, never bother with anything else.

As many of you will know, past few weeks, I’ve had quite a big thing for somebody many of you within the mosh/goth community in Cardiff will know..so for that reason I shan’t give her name. But dammit, she says things to me that make me feel so damn good, and I say similar things back. But in person, she is so cold towards me, acts as if I dont even exist. Its not like I dont try either, because everyone says “at least you’re trying”. damn man.

Next..someone I’ve known for like..9 months or so now..we went out last year, around September time..but that didnt last, and well..I’ve found out sooo many details about her now that she neglected to tell me. I was under the impression that I sooo knew this girl..but finding out some of the things I did today..i realised I know absolutely NOTHING. And..that she’s totally leading me on. Actually, thats unfair. I’m leading myself on. Thinking back to all of our conversations..she’s never said one thing to me to indicate that she likes me as more than a friend..actually, yea she did once..and me being so damn naive, pinned all my hopes on that one damn text message. What a dumbfuck am i?

I s’pose the problem is..having too many meaningless dumb relationships can leave you wanting more..and thats what I want right now..more..but I just cant find it, and i’m getting impatient.