Kill Me

I’ve only been out of hospital for 2 weeks…yet in that short space of time, I’ve had so many thoughts of regret.

But, not the regret you might think I mean.
The regret that I *wasnt* killed.
These thoughts have most definately been more frequent than thoughts of, “I’m glad they didnt kill me”.

This sucks.
I’ve replayed nearly all my bad times through my head.
And even gone through some other memories I have..to find out if they werent really good..and I was being mocked, or something.
I cant help pointing out my faults. And they really get to me.

i’m a loser
I wish someone would help. As in, *really* help. Not just say..
“Whats up Nath?”
“Nothin”
“Sure?”
“Not Really”
“Well tell me about it..”
*Insert Story Here*
“Oh..well..it’ll get better, dont worry about it.
….You’ll never guess what t-shirt I bought today!”
*Enter Fake Enthusiasm Here*

^^^^ Thats not a real example..I made that up. But thats what it’s like with everyone.

I dont have anyone to *REALLY* talk to.

Kill Me

I think I’m addicted to ProPlus, caffeine tablets.
I cant stop taking them. Have taken 18 so far today. Which is 6 over the recommended maximum dosage.
O well..hasnt killed me yet :P heh.
We can only hope

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