Becoming homeless is one of the things that I and most other people fear in life. This morning while taking the train to work, after I had finished my book I was left alone with my thoughts for the final 20 minutes of journey. During this time I thought about how I could use the wealth of experience I have built up over the years from being a patron of the hospitality industry to survive whilst homeless. I have come to the conclusion that, in theory, as long as you follow a few golden rules, you will be able to get by — for a time at least.

There are 3 rules that must always be abided by in order for the following tips to work:

1. You must always be clean and look at least semi-respectable. Tattered, dirty clothing and unkempt hair will prevent most of these things from being achievable.
   Having a shirt and a pair of trousers would be highly advantageous; they don’t need to be expensive.
2. Don’t try these things in the same place too often. Give each a cooling off period, or even hop a train and move city periodically.
3. Don’t carry all of your belongings around with you on a day-to-day basis. Find a place that you can store most of it and go to pick things up every so often, or get a wheely suitcase (more will be explained about this later).

Okay, so now that you’ve absorbed the above points, should you ever find yourself homeless, here are some things that I have picked up over the years that could help you to stay alive, healthy, warm and safe.

Disclaimer: None of these tips encourage stealing or theft of services. I would not advise you to break into hotel rooms or anything like that; this is generally a bad idea. Anything in this post is hypothetical.
The author is not responsible for any misdemeanours committed as a result of this article.

Hotels are your friend

After you check into a hotel legitimately, you feel comfortable walking around, using the amenities; basically treating the place like you own it, and very infrequently are you asked to prove that you have a right to be there. Only once have I been asked to produce a key-card to wander the halls of a hotel that I was staying at.
If you take on this air of confidence and treat a hotel as if you were checked in, you are likely to be able to spend a considerable amount of time using the warmth and safety of the hotel to your advantage.

Hotels have a wide range of areas that can be used without having a room key, these vary from hotel to hotel and chain by chain, but by and large they will all have at least one of these:

Guest floor waiting-areas
On various guest floors, usually right by the lifts, there will be an arrangement of sofas and/or armchairs, usually with a coffee table and an assortment of newspapers.
I would estimate you could get away with sitting here for a few hours at least and, if questioned, just say that you’re waiting for a friend to come out of their room.

The lobby/reception area
Every hotel lobby has sofas, newspapers and chairs for guests or visitors to use. I have sat in hotel lobbies, reading a book or newspaper, un-hassled for hours on end in the past. They are warm, comfortable and I believe that you could easily lounge around here for 6-12 hours before arousing suspicion.

Gym changing rooms
Vital to this guide is keeping clean and looking respectable, so use gym changing rooms to have a shower, wash your hair, etc. Usually you can get into these without any trouble but are asked to provide proof of residence on trying to use the pool, sauna etc. I wouldn’t advise trying to have a morning work-out; this is just pushing your luck.

Conference facilities
Almost all hotels these days double up as a place for businesses to hold events, where the members can sleep and then attend seminars and the like.
The advantage here is that there are a lot of people roaming around the building. You could easily be taken for one of these people should you be wearing suitable attire (this goes back to the shirt and trousers point above). Every single conference will put on a buffet, or sometimes three; breakfast, lunch and dinner.
When I have attended these in the past I have always thought that getting into one of them uninvited would be a cinch, either by pretending you’ve lost your pass or, at the registration table, simply looking down at the rows and rows of laminated badges that are on the table in front of you and picking a name at random. If the badge hasn’t been handed out, they aren’t there yet. Get your tea, coffee, croissants, pain au chocolat or whatever and get out of there. Perhaps even come back for lunch, but don’t hang around to take in a seminar just in case the real Bill Smith turns up and you are forcibly ejected.

Little things make a big difference

The wheely suitcase
The wheely suitcase has become symbolic in western culture of importance, and depending on the colour or brand, wealth.

If you’re homeless and want to maintain a sense of social worth so that you can use your blagging skills to stay alive, purchase a wheely suitcase. It will be the best investment you ever made.

Have you ever been walking behind someone with a wheely suitcase and thought they might be homeless, as you’re cursing them for getting in your way? I doubt it.

On the final leg of a journey that has taken over 24 hours, do you worry that your fellow passengers think you’re homeless? No. The wheely suitcase expels that possibility, and expunges your bad smells. You’re a traveller, a world traveller, and all because of the wheely suitcase.

What this guide has been written to prove is that while society has a lot of perks, those who get to use those perks do so mostly because they emit a sense of importance from the way that they act or look. Once that importance is lost a lot of life’s perks go with it. You start being immediately dismissed. As soon as you approach somebody to speak to them they have already made a distinction, that you are homeless and that anything you have to ask should be treated with suspicion or that you should be treated with less importance than somebody who is wearing a suit jacket and shirt.

I do it, so does my father and so do all of my friends. If a man with a backpack, dirty tracksuit bottoms and unwashed hair approaches you on the street, you immediately wonder what they are going to ask you for and what their story will be; perhaps 61p for the train, or money to get a coffee. But if a man with a wheely suitcase, a rigid crease in his trousers and a tie approached you, you would be less weary, less expectant that they will ask to take your change, you treat them more like a human being.

A friend of mine posted on Facebook this morning that there were rumours about that the Pen & Wig on Park Grove in Cardiff is going to be closed down and/or turned into a high-end wine bar. I’m tired now of internet rumours so I decided to do some digging.

The first details started coming out on Thursday July 1st, put out there by Buzz Magazine on their Twitter feed. There is apparently also a petition on the bar at the pub itself, though I cannot verify this.

So, here I have some information straight from the horses mouth:

The Pen & Wig is not being closed down. Nor is being taken over by another company.
The establishment will however be going through a rebranding exercise. It is currently run under the Town Pubs brand, one of Mitchell & Butler’s. It will be transferred into the Nicholson’s Classic brand, also by Mitchell and Butler.

There is a big difference between these two brands.
Town Pubs is a cheap and cheerful brand, they focus on low priced food (like the Pen & Wig’s £2.99 meals) and cheap beer. See this link for more details on Town Pubs.

Nicholson’s Classic are big on real ales, this will see the Pen & Wig’s repertoire of real ale double, from 5 to 10. The food will also change drastically, focusing on well-made hearty food like sausages, pies, real mash and the like. Also the pub may have all its furniture renewed, something that it definitely urgently needs, in my opinion. See this link for more details on Nicholson’s Classic.

In the back of house the kitchen area is being doubled in size to accommodate the new styles of food that it will be offering, so that fresh food can be prepared, instead of the pre-made meals that they mostly serve at the moment.

The assistant manager, Aslim, seems excited about this and is very quick to quash any rumour that it is being remodelled to change the clientèle. The Pen & Wig was one of the first pubs in Cardiff to adopt the “cheap and cheerful” ethos that now every bar in Cardiff has and that it has to stay ahead of the curve in order to remain popular.

So, no need to fear, your beloved Pen & Wig is not closing down. Not being turned into a wine bar or a fancy restaurant, but it is going a bit more upmarket.

A few weeks ago I started a Facebook group to campaign against the Free B bus, a service which runs every 10 minutes in Cardiff to provide a link between bus stops, created after the idea recreating the central bus station was scrapped.
With the city centre only being probably just over a mile in diameter, this means the bus is most often completely empty. Also, with city traffic and the route the bus takes it is often quicker to walk between stops.

I was interviewed yesterday by a student film crew for the University of Glamorgan about the campaign. You can see it below.

Note:
Excuse my hair and my bumbling idiocy. I need it cut and I will also need to prepare next time too. It was literally flung at me 30 minutes before. I have also never been interviewed on camera before, so I didn’t really know where I supposed to be looking.

I met Rhod Gilbert tonight. He’s playing the Cardiff Comedy festival, I kind of accosted him whilst he was walking to the shop. Top guy though…

I tried out the electronic drum kit thing at my dads house while I was there feeding the cats.

I have no rhythm, and by the looks of it, no balance either.

I’ll be back soon, I promise. Things are just a bit hectic around here at the moment, see previous post for details.

I had the pleasure of conducting a Q&A session with Brian & Margaret Harries who are behind the venture ‘Fab Mash’ on Caroline Street, Cardiff, some days before the grand opening, which was on Sunday, March 1st.

Nathan: Since the sign went up a few weeks ago, anybody I mention the name to has been enthused to know what could possibly be served up in mashed potato takeaway. I have tried to explain it, but can you tell us, definitively, what Fab Mash will be serving?

Fab Mash: We will be serving a choice of five mash varieties; regular, leek, cheesy, spicy and breakfast mash. These are available in snack or regular sizes.
Mash can be eaten on its own or with a choice of items from our ‘Mix ‘n’ Mash’ menu, including sausage, faggot, beef casserole, lentil dhal, steak & ale pie, chicken, leek & bacon pie, mushy peas, baked beans, onions or gravy!
We also offer set ‘Fab Meals’, combining mash and selected accompaniments, ‘Snack Mash Meals’, which are just a bit smaller and an ‘All-day-breakfast’ menu, featuring our unique ‘Breakfast Mash’, plus sausage and/or beans.
Phew, that sounds more complicated than it is! Actually it’s really simple. Everything is laid out on menu boards and people are quickly getting the hang of it!

Nathan: Where did the idea for a takeaway restaurant with a mashed potato theme come from?

Fab Mash: We have loved making this type of food for a long time and people always enjoy it, so we had a hunch that this type of takeaway would go down well. After loads of research and planning we decided there was definitely a market for it.
It seems we were right, or at least the signs are good so far. We have sourced the best food and ingredients, as this was central to what we wanted to achieve. The initial feedback has been excellent and we’ve been extremely encouraged by what people have said to us.

Nathan: Cardiff is becoming quite the city for businesses to try to sell new ideas for food, what made you choose Cardiff?

Fab Mash:Although we live in Haverfordwest we have had close links with Cardiff for the last 20 years. It’s a vibrant city, it has gone through something of a transformation in the last 10 years and the fact it was nominated for City of Culture 2008 says an awful lot about Cardiff. We believe in Fab Mash and want to make it a national brand. Our capital city was the obvious choice to test the concept and its potential.

Nathan: How long have plans to open Fab Mash been in the pipeline?

Fab Mash: We’ve been planning to start Fab Mash for almost three years! It’s been a long road but we feel the results make it all worthwhile.

Nathan: I understand that Cardiff is to be the first Fab Mash location. If it goes well, where else do you have in mind to open stores?

Fab Mash: We’d like at least one more shop in Cardiff and are looking at another location currently. Our ultimate goal would be to take Fab Mash to London, which would help us establish a national brand.
It’s too early to say how long that will take and where the stepping stones along the way will be. We passionately respect our roots though, so the Cardiff store will always be our spiritual home!

Nathan: Fab Mash is located on one of the busiest streets in the city centre after dark. Do you have a late opening license?

Fab Mash: Our licence is from 10 am to 4 am. We will establish our regular opening hours over the coming weeks but the idea is to be open as long as customers are out there!

Nathan: If so, how do you see night revellers taking your concept of mashed potato and gravy over chips and gravy?

Fab Mash: Our decisions are not based on people taking preference over other takeaways. There should be enough business for everyone in this area. We are merely offering an alternative choice for people, which we think they want. Believe me, we have eaten our fair share of chips and gravy and will continue to do so!

Nathan: Chips and Caroline Street is an almost half century old tradition for Cardiff locals. Do you think you can compete against the likes of Dorothy’s, who’s patch you will be moving in on? What do you think will give you the edge?

Fab Mash: We do not see ourselves competing against the established traders in the street, who incidentally have been extremely welcoming and helpful toward us. The reputation of Caroline Street has been built by the existing businesses and we have just been pleased to be joining them on their patch.
One of our new neighbours actually summed it up very professionally when he explained to us that no matter how many people want your product when it is really busy you cannot serve them all. There is enough business in Caroline Street for all of us to co-exist.

Nathan: What advertising will Fab Mash be doing? Will there be any special opening offers?

Fab Mash: We are working to get the Fab Mash name out there however we can, and help from people like you is always welcome!
We are a family-run business and are very much about people and relationships, so we are trying to connect with real people both online and in person. We have created a Fab Mash website: http://www.fabmash.co.uk and have a twitter presence: http://twitter.com/fabmash.
This has been useful so far as it has helped us gauge opinion, albeit from a relatively small number of people. We are hoping to grow a Fab Mash community of loyal followers, that can help us take the company in the right direction.
We are also running a PR campaign, extending beyond this into traditional media and have a company helping us with all that, along with putting marketing materials together etc.
In terms of offers we will have to see how this develops. At the moment, we are just trying to see what people think of the current menu offering and pricing, then we can make some decisions.
Currently we are kept very busy! We are just focusing on meeting demand and getting as many people as possible to try our mash! Most people seem to be coming back for more, which is great!

-Syndicated from one of my other blogs, InsideCardiff.com

Shopfitting began at the beginning of this year on the site of the former Roadhouse takeaway on Caroline Street that was closed down last August due to rent arrears. Initially I was not very interested to know what it was going to be, as it would likely be another fish & chip shop, however, a sign went up last Friday that has made me wonder if I’m wrong.

Fab Mash? Sounds like a great idea to me. I love mashed potato! If it is what I hope it is and they get the combinations right, eg. a selection of different gravies and sausages (perhaps even cheesy mash and pies?) I’m sure this could be one business venture that would take off, especially being sited where it is.

Since Wok to Walk took off with phenomenal success last year I no longer doubt that Cardiff is afraid to try new things and ‘Fab Mash’ could do very well. I live right next door, so, if they let me know when it is I’ll be there on opening day without a doubt!

This was also Tweeted
See all ‘Fab Mash’ tweets

Update 19/02/2009 @ 13:00 -

The paper has come off the windows and the door is open. Looks great inside. I popped my head in and asked if they were open, but no joy. They are opening next week. Staff training today?

Update 20/02/2009 @ 14:30 -

I have been contacted by Fab Mash! They have set up a Twitter ID and inform me that they are opening on March 1st.

MS has updated Virtual Earth, their equivalent of Google Maps, with new satellite and birds eye imagery for the first time this year, and it’s a big one, ~100tb in fact. The new views of Paris, France, are a treat for the eye. They are very sharp, of excellent quality and the obviously taken on a bright sunny day.

This update also sees the first incorporation of satellite views from DigitalGlobe since Microsoft agreed a license with them in October last year. DigitalGlobe have had a partnership to provide Google with their mapping imagery for many years.

Of all of the mapping tools available, MapQuest (which doesn’t cover the UK so well), Multimap, Google Maps, Streetmap (UK centric), I find that Microsoft Virtual Earth, even though it is not the most widely known, is my personal favourite.

Reasons for this include my love of the ‘birds eye’ view,  images for which are taken from an airplane specially equipped with cameras and the ease of integration with the .NET framework.